Desserts
you know what’s strange? or well, strange to me?
while i LOVE LOVE LOVE all desserts/sweets, there is one particular dessert that i do not like. at all.
Tiramisu.
i think it’s the overwhelming amount of cream that is in this cake. i mean, what i look for in a dessert are:
1. texture
2. taste
3. ratio/balance of the two^^
there is just way too much cream, and with the soft cake and powdery cinnamon top… that cake just doesnt do enough for me. not even the rum soaked layer of cake is enough to take out all the soft cream and cake.
normally, i LIKE soft desserts.
but there is no flavor.
the only thing that makes some sort of statement is the rum soaked layer, and that’s not enough to make up for the rest of the cake.
/sigh.
sorry tiramisu. you may look pretty, sound pretty, but you dont taste all that great to me…
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Tags: tiramisu
updates updates UPDATES!
okay, im done sulking 
i have SO many updates. too many…but it’s a good thing a good feeling too!
i compiled a hefty list of blog topics i want to write/ponder about and new adventures that i am currently boarding! so yall will be expecting a lot of typing from me in these next weeks!
but first i want to talk about my new adventures!
1. i am starting a NEW blog. am i going to leave this one? HECK NO!
im starting a blog JUST FOR FOOD! all the food that i eat, cook, and bake! you can check it out HERE! ive always wanted a blog designed specifically for my food adventures, and so i finally did it! and it partly as to do with adventure #2!
2. I SHALL BE CATERING DESSERTS FOR A WEDDING THIS COMING SPRING!
WOW I AM SO EXCITEDDDD!!!! my good ol’ sister recommended me to a couple of her friends who are engaged to have me bake for their weddings. er, not everything has been set in stone, but so far, it is looking quite good. i think it’s looking good..
/sighhhhhhhh
i am so honored. and amazed. and blessed. and WOW.
there really is nothing more that i loveeee about making food for people than to see them eat it! err, hopefully they are enjoying whatever they are eating..
anyway, the foodblog i created is also a way for people who want to contact me about future catering opportunities.
i mean, i dont plan on becoming a baker/chef or anything like that, but ive always been interested in baking for small things like: birthdays, bridal showers, baby showers, extravagant tea parties (hehe), etc.
gosh. there will be so much to do! i am tres excited.
i think ill be writing blog entries and tagging them specifically for this whole wedding/catering process!
okay, that is all for now! peeeaaceeeee n’ blessinggsssssssssss
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Tags: wedding caterer
i feel like im in elementary school a lot of the times. in a bad way. :/
///sigh
i need to get outta this place. away from these people.
theyre holding me back. it’s all holding me back.
i think i need a break from this life. just a small break. or maybe a long break. just a few days. or months. or decades….or maybe just a few hours. a minute.
i dont know.
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whenever i think about stuff–anything, i imagine my brain being an infinite sky and my thoughts are flowers drifting/flying around and once they eventually touch the ground, that’s when they become thoughts that i dont want to think about anymore. but eventually, they somehow get a draft of wind and start floating again.
anyway,
so here are somethings that i am thinking about. i guess this is more of a memo for me.
1. i dont want to continue my homework. but i like doing homework once i start on it… :/ i have a few upcoming projects that i am excited to start, but darn hulu.com is distracting me..
2. i need to organize all of my reliable baking recipes and somehow get a small website of all that stuff up and runnin’. i think it really would be cool to do a small part time catering job one the side. it would be really tiny though, eensy weensy. for birthdays. baby showers. bridal showers. and just showers in general?…haha.
3. i want to make chocolate cupcakes and peanutbutter frosting. mmm. i just have a strange craving for that right now.
4. is it weird that i wear a bunnyhat to school? it’s a beanie that has little small bunny ears on it. sometimes i feel a bit embarrassed. really embarrassed. /sigh. i guess with time i wont care as much walking around school with my bunnyhat knowing that people are going to be staring at me and wondering if im a lost kid in a university.
5. i love it when people sing (er, the people who sing WELL) and their talking voice doesnt sound anything like that singing voice. it’s so amazing, really! err i guess in general i love hearing people sing. especially if they have that…pure/a bit airy/breathy voice. i think i really really really like voices that dont have a lot of vibrato (oh but dont get me wrong, i do love me some vibrato!). to me, it sounds so clean and…fresh.
6. i practiced a solid 2hours last night. solid meaning, taking out all “break” times. i am really worried about my recital, and im not even talking about the performing/getting ready part. im thinking about the people who would come to my recital.
i dont want people who dont want to come, to come.
i dont want people to feel like because they are my friend, they have to stay for at least 10minutes or so to hear me play out of respect.
but that would mean that i wouldnt really advertise my recital…and that would also mean that no one would show up. i dont think my own brother would even show up -____-;
it would be me, my parents, my piano accompanist, and my teacher.
i actually wouldnt mind that.
i would be playing for two people who have supported me financially the most, and one person whom i need to prove that i am not as bad of a student as i appear to be.
and i know that i am also dealing with a pride issue.
but i really just feel like if you want to come, then you should come. but if you are attending for any other reasons, i couldnt bare to see you sitting there–gritting your teeth, tapping your shoes, and constantly checking your cell phone hoping for the end of it.
besides, it’s a full 50minute recital. yall should be prepared to have your socks knocked off. or to have a nice soothing nap.
7. samson – regina spektor. i like this song, but it kind of troubles me. delilah is portrayed as an antagonist in the Bible story of Samson and Delilah. in this song, i feel like she has no remorse for what she did to samson even though she seems to have truly loved him.
delilah…you cant just say that you love someone and then betray them. how does that make sense? how is that fair for you to take credit for loving him first when you did something like that to him? couldnt you at least explain yourself? -_-
nonetheless, i loveeee regina spektor’s voice. like i said before, i like the…non-vibrato-ness. she may not be the best singer, but my kind of singer!
HI-YAHH!
yeah i can kick your butt.
Filed under: whimsical wonders | 1 Comment
Tags: regina spektor samson, thoughts
i want something (edited)
im always pretty darn surprised when someone tells me that they really want something. it can be anything really–a car, a job position, a person, etc.
and i dont mean that they want something in the materialistic, and selfish sense. this type of wanting is the feeling you get when youve decided that youve worked hard enough to have the right to get it.
i feel like…there arent a lot of people who are willing to admit what they want. we’re all kind of…vague about what our desires are–especially when it relates to our goals (long term or not). of course the main reason behind this is that we dont want to be vulnerable and blahblhablahbahh.
but then again, sometimes i feel like people trivialize things that they want, way too freakin much. it even bothers me more when i want the same thing, and they end up getting it and accept it with such “nonchalance” and “indifference” even though i know that they wanted it just as much as i did.
which is why i truly do appreciate it whenever people tell me something that they really want “this” to happen or “that” to work out.
i guess im still kind of in this phase of wanting humans to just let go of all their fears and just speak their minds in a controlled, respectful way.
/sigh
in other news:
i gotta hair curling ironn whooohooohooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!
i dunno if u already figured this out, but i love my hair. too much sometimes.
oh and yeah, that IS a firefox logo hanging on our wall in the background of this photo. my roommates old halloween costume. heheh
-edit-
after replying to a comment i received, i realized what i meant by my previous statement about being “in this phase of wanting humans to just let go of all their fears and just speak their minds in a controlled, respectful way. ”
i know i am asking for a lot for in people when i wish for this (err not said in sarcasm), but i think the main point that i want people to think about/be aware of is to stop holding back. no more hesitations because youre afraid of what people are going to think/say.
it truly is a blissful and sickening feeling once you take that first step by saying something you mean.
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on being famous…
me: you know..sometimes i dont know how i would be able to meet someone if i was famous. i would get too paranoid that people would love me because im famous. i dont think i would be able to meet someone new, id probably have to be with someone i already new before i got famous. ya know?
grace: well, youll never be famous..so…
-_-
true. too true.
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accepting people
i think a lot of people might consider “annoying” people as people who are:
-loud
-obnoxious and loud
-overly hyper
-people who seem hopped up on drugs 24/7
and i feel like people feel good about themselves (not in a selfish way per se…more like feel good that they are treating these “types” of people with genuine respect rather than ignoring them) whenever they “accept” these types of “annoying” people. i mean, i do. i feel better about myself that i am trying to overlook their qualities that may seem annoying to me and realize that there are other better things about them that truly matter.
but have you ever thought about those people who are quiet/shy?
dont they ever annoy you?
i think that SOMETIMES, the people who are shy/quiet feel like they are “better” than those who are loud and out there because they aren’t necessarily creating any noise disturbance of any sort.
but you know what? i find them annoying as well.
it’s one thing to be shy, but i feel like it’s an entirely different situation when someone is just quiet and stays quiet no matter what you do/say to them. no matter how nice or sweet or willing to help them on their homework or tell them random compliments or anything like that, they wont really take the time to get to know you. you have to be friendly one until you one day realize, that they aren’t friendly.
they are not friendly.
they are quiet by choice, not necessarily because they have a huge fear of talking to people/strangers.
it makes me wonder how the decide to pick and choose the friends that they do have.
i guess im still weirded/bummed out that no matter how nice i am to people, there are still those who dont want to reciprocate the same warm and welcoming feelings i have towards them. i guess you can say that “im not their type of person to be friends with” but im seriously a really nice person. i love people, i do i do!!!!!! im not one of those bubbly crazy girls who just goes around saying a million things without any tact or realization that sometimes they are annoying. i really do think about what i say to people and all i wanna do is be friendsssss.
/sigh…
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Tags: quiet people
Korea. er, SOUTH korea
my grandparents (finally) moved to korea this fall and so this winter break, all of our relatives decided to have a “family reunion” sorta dealio thing there. twas fun, twas a lot o’ fun.
the 12hour flight to korea was….a bit iffy. i liked watching 5movies in a row, and the flight attendants on the plane were SO PRETTY AND SO POLITE!!! O_O but i didnt like how the man sitting in the back of me was always pushing my seat forward so i was constantly pushing my seat forward with my feet on the ground -__-
err besides all that, here are a few things i remembered while in korea:
1. korean fashion:
_the girls have short shoulder length hair that would curl towards their head and poofed bangs. they kind of ALL looked like Velma from Scooby Doo:
and my cousin said that 80% of the girls that you see with double eye lids got the double eye lid surgery..and that is including those who already have double eye lids. /sigh…
_the boys in korea had…a strange hairstyle as well. they had super long pointed sideburns with poofy hair and emo bangs. they all looked like aliens–especially since skinny jeans are popular in korea. they all had ostrich legs. interesting…
2. weather: holy moly it was very cold. very very cold. and it wasnt fun walking around with cold wind blowing at your face. i felt like my nose was gunna fall off O_O. but inside the apartments (korea is full o’ apartments) the wooden floors were always heated but it was uncomfortable to sleep on the floors at night because you felt like you were sleeping on an oven. or in an oven. …we were all basically being lightly toasted for the next morning….
OH. AND IT SNOWED! amazing. and then it turned into dirty slush. not so amazing.
3. food: of course korean food is going to be good in korea. but still!!!!!!!!!
This delicious whole (…or half? i dunno) chicken soup had RICE ALREADY COOKED INSIDE OF THE CHICKEN. WHO WOULDA THUNK//?!?! so delicious and good and smart and convenient and nummynummynummmyy…
LOOK AT THIS SWEET POTATO!! it’s purple! it’s naturally grown too! wow. pretty. reallllly pretty.
4. stuffs: i shopped a lot in korea. a lot a lot a lot a lot a lottt!!! errr not in the actual korean malls. i shopped in the underground subway malls where they had there lil’ shops set out and whatnot. im kind of still mortified at how much stuff i bought… BUT LOOKIE AT THIS!! WHY WOULDNT YOU GET THIS?!?!! (everyone just nod their heads. or shake them. or…whatever…)
5. family&friends: i had a lovely time spending time wif my cuz’ns, and meeting up with an old high school friend
whenever i hang out with my cousins, we always tend to play board games. WHICH ARE REALLY FUN! i mean, it is always reallllllyy really outta-diz-world type of fun.
i dont know why we dont play board games more often…
anyway, this time our little cousin taught us how to play Blokus. although it’s only a four people player game, it was fun nevertheless. and even though she is only 7years old, we still played with the “no mercy” rule and i didnt feel the slightest bit bad when i WON 4TIMES CONSECUTIVELY. WOOOOOOOOOO!!
yeah i never win at board games…
you know what’s another fun game? MadGab.
Okay.
im done writing enough about boring stuff you arent really interested because you had nothing to do with this trip. :)
oh yeah…one more thing:
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Tags: food, south korea
///sigh
i was going to write a huge cheerful post about stuffs.
but some unfortunate events just happened.
dont mind me. im just being a lame goober and drowning myself in self-pity right now…
/sigh.
///sighhhhhhhhhhh…………
…
..
.
/sigh.
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french macarons
that sounds so fancy and pretty doesnt it? french macarons.
i remember looking through the www.foodgawker.com website one time and seeing a LOT of recipes of this mysterious fremacaron. i had never seen one before, and i wasnt too sure how they were suppose to taste or feel like.
for a few months, i kind of just dreamed about these bite size amuse bouches and went on with my life until one day. one day. one. day. i decided, no more. no more wondering and thinking about this “french macaron” (said with a swaggering french accent. are french accents swagger-ful? i dunno). i mean seriously, what was the big deal?!!
so i went to TWO shops to purchase these macarons:
1. Cocola Bakery in San Jose (in Santana Row).
three macarons averaging $2.60 each. i got two pistachio, and one raspberry. these macarons were a bit bigger than the normal petite sized ones, so i convinced myself that it was worth the money. right? yes.
the first outer shell was crispy, and then the inside of the shell was a big soft and sweet. the filling was creamy and delicious. DELICIOUS.
but i could seriously only take one bite before chugging a cup o’ tea because it was so sweet. and i LOVE sweet things, but this was a tad bit too sweet. too crazily sugary. but it did have lots of pistachio flavor, and i love pistachios!
i didnt even bother to try the raspberry because i was getting a sugar-coma.
i passed out in the bakery before getting back into my car to drive to:
2. Pamplemousse Patisseries et Cafe in Redwood City.
wow that sure does sound fancyshmancy eh? these sold the standard, smaller macarons for $1.95/each. they had a lot of flavors. oh so manY!!!! i stood in front of the glass case thinking about which ones to get for at least 5minutes before ordering.
i got:
yuzti (japanese lemon)
amaretto
pistachio
key lime
vanilla
i took a tiny bite out of the yuzti. the shell was completely hollow, and the filling didnt really taste like anything special and the overall macaron was quite chewy. a bad kind of chewy. stale gum chewy. -___-
i took a couple of bites out of the other ones before realizing that they were all made the same way and tasted the same and …blah. no flavor. i wasnt too sure if this was how a macaron was suppose to taste, or i was trippin balls.
conclusion:
i dont have that much a liking towards macarons. i DO like meringue desserts (meringues, bizets), but i do not like macarons. they are. eh. 
IN OTHER NEWS:
I am back from kokokooorreeeaa. i will update this shiznit later. im going to bed. or not. jet lag is keeping me up.
Filed under: fabulous foods | Leave a Comment
Tags: french macarons
i am off to corea
wheeeeeeee..
well, im off tomorrow morning!
yes, a nonstop flight from san francisco to somewhere in the boonies in korea. just kidding, somewhere in the city. or at least a place with flushable toilets?! i hope well, i guess they dont have to flush. at least a designated hole for poopies and peepees. wow, my vocabulary is really going down the drain. i mean, even more so since im on break…
ANYWAYY,
so to entertain yall for a bit, i decided to …wait..aw man..
so i was totally going to post up my final draft of the short story i wrote for my writing class and i cannot find the newest version. which is kind of freaking me out because that means that i may have sent my teacher a wrong version. OR it means that i emailed the unfinished latest version to myself and edited at school later that day which is what i do sometimes. darn…
gah.
i hope i didnt print out the wrong version. O_O
ok. so now i dont have anything to entertain yall with.
well, see you on the other side of the world!
why YES, this was taken right as i woke up. good mornin’ sunshine!
and yes that is a scarf wrapped around the hoodie i am wearing. and yes, i am get actually lenses in those lens-less glasses i am currently wearing
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chyeah im cool
good lawdy-lawd. i realized that i only rhyme things with my name, Joy. or with the word “cool”. …
ANYWAY
so i just realized something (again) today.
i CAN be that cool skaterchick/lady/girl/woman (ew not woman. ew never woman or lady).
I CAN BE THAT PERSON.
and eff everyone else who says i cant.
because i already AM. MUAHAHHAHAHAHA IN YO’ FACE. and im sorry if i ever push you out of my way -__- that has accidentally already happened a couple of times at school. i mean, i realllllly cant help it if im going down a hill and you happen to walk right in front of me. the natural reaction in me is to try to dodge/push you outta mah wayyyyy..and i always say sorry while im skating away..
okay back to why i can be cool:
now that im a cool sk8rboiiiiiiii, i can buy cool vans. I CAN BUY COOL VANS. once i get money. but who cares about the money part. I CAN BUY COOL VANS SHOES. and put them to good use!
especially since i fear the ones i am wearing now are going to die soon. the sole of the shoe is fine, but the velcro part is really tattered -___- dumb dog–keeps on chewing at my shoesies. not cool. i dont chew your toys.
anyway, im just really excited that i can be a cool kid again (forrealz mang. im cool. like a pool) and no this is NOT some crazy-quarter-life-crisis.
or maybe it is.
eh.
it most likely is…
i mean, i cant be a college graduate who still skates around, right? that would be weird, right? especially since im pretty terrible (which i really am. no tricks on diz board).
bah humbug.
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Tags: cool, skating, vans
all yall richies can eat my poo
just kidding.
i dont know why i am so bitter about what i am going to write. i mean, i seriously sometimes lay awake at night thinking about this because it just bothers me like crazy. and then i start to over think (err i think i may be over thinking in general about this subject) that may be im being too harsh and cynical and plain ol’ mean. im just being mean…
but today i kind of figured out why i am so bothered about this subject.
okay, first i should write about the subject:
you know what really peeves/annoys me?!
when i see friends/people around me who come from good homes (basically everyone who comes from california) go off to 3rd world countries and then bring back tales of their “amazing” and “eye opening” trip and take 9283748239 pictures of it and post at least 10 pictures of themselves holding 5 starving children in their stupid arms.
okay, so i understand that there ARE people who genuinely want to do good in the world.
but do you really have to go out and exploit them? is it really necessary to take all these pictures of you with children and then hear you complain about how you didnt take a shower for a week?
i clearly remember this one time when these acquaintances i know went to the middle east for a few weeks. when they came back, the only thing i remember is how one girl who went told us how she purchased ice cream from a man who claimed to sell it and when she tasted it, she told us how it wasnt sweet or soft and creamy like the ice cream we get in duh US of A. she then continued to talk about how watery and chunky it was.
i wanted to literally slap her across the cheek. then on the other cheek.
i mean cmon, did you seriously just tell us that while you were doing “good deeds” in the middle east, one of the most important things you could tell us was about how they arent fortunate enough to have available resources such as an ice cream maker? im not patronizing the middle east either, where the people were located was quite poor and i dont think they would want an ice cream maker..
another time a girl was talking about how she went to japan (er this was a missions trip, not necessarily helping out on the monetary aspects of this country) and all she talked about was the sushi/food. that was all she talked about…
i wanted to punch her in the nose.
anyway.
so while i really do appreciate how people are able to spend a week or two in another country and try to adapt and help the people that are native to that country, im just not always fully convinced of their motives.
why?
because whenever these people come back, i feel like they use all the information and experiences as a means to self-glorify themselves.
and THAT, is what bothers me the most.
self-glorification.
every time i see a picture of a friend who is holding a small child from africa or mexico, the responses to that picture are always like: I WANT TO HOLD THAT BABY. I WANT TO BE THERE.
…dude. shut up. no you dont. you want to hold that baby for 3 seconds before you realize that it’s starting to pull your hair, or it wants to touch your necklace. or it’s not as clean as you expected it to be. you want to spend as little time as you can outside of your comfort zone before going insane and LUCKY for you that you can just slip right back into your cozy little bubble.
and another thing,
why do people think that they have to leave the country to get an “eye opening” experience? i mean, are you serious? i mean seriously, are you serious?
gaoihe;lksf;j;oaijkls;fij;aeowas;jlkxvje
i guess i could go ahead and say that im giving these people a hard time. but i dont think so. we are old enough to know what all of our intentions are. and dont tell me that the people who go to china/africa/mexico/etc. arent ready to tell the rest of the world how they “endured” the hardship of no electricity, no hot water, no mattress to sleep on AND YET were still able to “help and save the lives of millions”.
the next time someone talks about their trip to build homes in mexico (or something like that), they better not saying a word of complaint or else i will eat them up alive. literally.
*ahem*
in other news:
i am having trouble finding a gift for my brother. i honestly dont care if i dont get gifts, but i like giving gifts for the sentiments that go along w/ it…unless someone specifically wants something, i kind of think of gifts as a way of me saying that i was thinking of them and whatever i bought for them reminded me of them. i dont mean to get all cheesy here, but it really is a nice feeling to give. and not the selfish self-gratification type of feeling either (that is nice too hehee). i just really appreciate it whenever people think of me and tell me when they do, so i guess i kind of hope that others will feel the same tingly feelings i feel when i do the same. …….i used the word “feel” way too many times there. oh well..
and i like seeing people’s faces light up when they open presents. muahhahaha
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Tags: self glorification
…or ill just ramble on like i normally do.
cool.
i heard a person say that “everyone thinks that they are more mature in relationships”
okay. that was horribly paraphrase..but you get the gist, right? anyway, i gotta say that statement is very true. very true.
i mean, who ever goes into a relationship thinking that they aren’t mature? err, i mean, at least a serious one. a semi serious one. a relationship that you are sorta emotionally invested in at least…
im always hearing from people that they think that they are mature when it comes to relationships, and i while i believe that there must be a bit of truth in what they believe, i am not really convinced that they understand what they are saying because their actions prove otherwise, myself included.
the undeniable truth is that a lot of us/people are not mature. while we may not do stereotypical “immature” things such as throwing temper tantrums or punch someone in the face that makes us the slightest bit angry…i feel like we step up the immaturity in a sneaky way.
we grow cold towards those who anger us by giving them silent treatments until they “figure out” what happened.
we keep feelings bottled (i love saying/writing that word) up inside and let them out in a huge crazy fury.
we ignore and avoid conflict.
etc.
i know that we arent perfect, but what makes you believe that you are more mature than the “average” person who is also in a relationship? i say this in a serious and non-sarcastic/judgmental way. i mean, just think about it for a bit. im sure a lot of people dont mean to do/say a lot of the things that are categorized as being immature. it just happens sometimes. and when it does, it’s okay as longs as you realize that there are better ways you could have handled that situation and hopefully youll learn from it. and hopefully youll admit that you were wrong.
anyway, all of that (what i just wrote) made me think about adults in general.
we, er at least I, have this preconception about adults and the way adults are suppose to act.
when i think of an adult, i think of a mature human being who no longer needs his/her parents to point out what they did wrong, but are able to use his/her own judgement. and that judgement is good. it’s strong and steady. it’s rational.
i also think of this adult as a friendly person, a person who is willing to acknowledge problems if there is one, and to work them out. stuff like that.
but now that i am an “adult”, i dont see a lot of other “adults” that are like the “dream adult” i just described (err not saying that i am a mature adult. i still got lots to learn). i still see and meet the same people i met in high school. in middle school. i dont know why, but i truly thought that once you become an adult, that you magically change into a better person. a person with a good, reliable character.
i guess im slightly disappointed that once you become an adult, you just grow physically older. you dont necessarily have a flood of knowledge enter your head to make you into a wise old owl, and the personality you had as a kid stays with you as a grown up.
weird and sad.
these headphones allow me to ignore the rest of the outside world. muahahaa
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Tags: adults, immature, mature, relationships
all i can do is keep breathing
wow.
wow.
wow.
finals are over. fall quarter is over. i am back at home on a warm, comfortable full size bed. this is craziness.
i still have to remind myself that i dont have any homework to do. no tests to study for. no more papers to write. amazing. this is truly amazing.
er. while i would like to write something more…”intellectual”/”thoughtful” i cannot because my brain is too clogged with lame information that’s just taking up space in my head and i am trying to slowly erase and remove it. it will take some time.
in other news:
i plan on playing with each and everyone one of my friends! and im going to korea which is a first for me!
i unfortunately know very little korean and fear that i will get lost in korea and starve to death. and i will be looking up at the sky screaming:WHERE AM I?!
and no one will understand nor help me. it will be tragic. hopefully that wont happen.
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lame i am
i used to (and still do) get annoyed whenever i read facebook statuses of people who write “i want a hug” or “hug me” for sympathy. in my head (and physically), i am seriously rolling my eyes. i feel like these people need to find other ways of getting attention/not sound so dang pathetic.
but you know. today, i just need a hug. or two. or million.
not because i want all the cute boys to hug me.
it’s seriously just comforting to be in the arms of a friend who you know cares about you (errr in the platonic way! (: ) and i feel so secure and loved
wow. so cheesy. SO TRUE THOUGh. especially when there is nothing else you want to do but scream at the top of your lungs until you pass out because of the lack of air you arent breathing in.
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Tags: lame i am
lady gaga
i feel like people either realllly like her, or reallly dont.
i like her.
i feel like she kinda just does her own strange thing and doesnt care what other people think. i mean, she really doesnt care. a lot of famous people/influential people eventually cave into what people want.
but i think that lady gaga just honestly doesnt give a hoot about what people say about her. whether it’s a comment about her outrageous outfits or gender. and i think that is a huge feat, especially since she is only 23/24. she is just a youngin’ and seems to already grasp the idea that in the end, you really shouldn’t care about the negative things people say about you because the people who bring you down aren’t important. serious.
i think it’s hard for people to admit that they do go with the flow of what society deems “normal”. i personally think it’s difficult for me to admit that because to me, that just means that a lot of the things that i do isnt really making any sort of important change. im not making a difference in the world because im just doing what everyone else is doing.
which is kind of why i am the way i am (if you dont understand that because you dont know me, thats okay. and if you know me and are still confused, then maybe youll see what i mean later on in life).
anyway, back to gaga.
i also think that i respect her because she was classically trained to sing (thank goodness for being brought up in a rich household…) and that she is also artistically innovative. oh, and it doesnt hurt that her lyrics are making a statement rather than just being there for the sake of singing.
too many songs are being written into cheesy lyrics. artists dont ever seem to put any time towards lyrics now-a-days.
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Tags: lady gaga
dear joy’s body,
thank you for putting up with my craziness and abusive behavior for the past couple of weeks.
thank you stomach for working all night to digest the food that i ate at 3am.
thank you feet for walking everywhere.
thank you legs for not breaking whenever i fall (which is all duh time).
thank you eyes for not going blind yet even though ive been wearing contacts that i should have thrown away a couple of weeks ago and have been wearing them at least 18/24hours that are in a day.
thank you throat for singing and singing and singing.
thank you brain for thinking when it seems like there are no more thoughts left to be thought.
thank you teeth for staying (somewhat) clean while i drink all that coffee.
thank you thank you thank you.
but no thank you to face. no thank you for giving me 9187 breakouts every night.
love,
me. (your owner)
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Tags: thank you body
post thanksgiving shtuff
okay. i will really seriously go in depth about how amazing my thanksgiving weekend was…but i have way too many things to do from now until …the end of life….
haha.
err, from now until the end of this quarter (for now at least. i can worry about other things later).
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strengths&weaknesses
whenever i get a question that asks me for “my strengths & weaknesses”, i seriously, truly, really do get stumped at the latter part of the question.
NOT BECAUSE I DONT THINK I HAVE ANY WEAKNESSES.
i know that i have a lot.
but i have a lot of trouble answer that question because i feel like right now, the important weaknesses that i feel sincerely do need some work are very…abstract…ish.
i don’t have an “quick-fix” type of weaknesses. it’s not that i have too much pride, or i cant take criticism, or im too stubborn, or close minded. i’m not saying that the things i just mentioned are easy to fix. no way jose, they are pretty darn difficult to address upon, and then to change is harder because you know as humans, we dont like none of that “change”!
i feel like for now, one of my main weaknesses has to do with my future and being responsible. no, not short term responsibility (ie. not cleaning when i made a mess, not apologizing when i hurt someone’s feelings).
i honestly do not like admitting that i want to do something with music in the future. er, not just something. i want to be a musician. not just any musician either, the ones that you can see and hear play in an orchestra. er, not any orchestra either. one of duh best.
you see where it gets all muddy here?
a part of me really doesnt want to admit that i want to be a good musician because what if i dont become what i want to be? if i say i want to do all of these things involving music, i better do it–right?
but what if i dont do what i said that i want to do?
how dumb i would feel if none of that happened. and it’s also dumb of me to worry about something like this. i mean, i do want it.
i want to say that it’s easier said than done whenever people tell me “then do it”, but it really isnt. if i want something that bad, i best go and bust my butt and try my best right?
…that’s where i slip in all of these lame excuses to prevent myself from being the best that i can be.
but i really am trying to fight that urge to give up NOT because it’s too difficult. i havent been doing enough to even reach that part of my life yet. but because im too scared to even try. im too darn scared to even see where music will lead me–if anywhere.
-__-
aye caramba.
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Tags: weaknesses
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