give&take « joy is no boy but she likes toys!

give&take

08Jun09

you know what?
(chicken butt)
no.

yesterday i realized that i should not ever expect anything from anyone, ever. in a million years. even more than a million years…

it’s not that i no longer believe in mankind or dont want my raised hopes to get burned down (to the ground, i just wanted to add that part in because it makes everything more dramatic).

it’s just a simple fact that came to me while i was fuming in annoyance over a friend of mine that i felt i had given a lot of time&love in that friendship, and it was not being reciprocated.
while i was wondering why in the heck is this friend being oh so selfish, i realized that first of all, friendships should not be based on rewards&demerits. i shouldnt believe that because i did A, B, and C for this person, that i will receive the equivalent of that in return someday.
second, i shouldnt being doing things for a person if i dont want to, i should do it because i want to despite whatever happens in the future.
and third, these means that i should not expect anything from anyone.

if a friend does a nice favor for me, cool. if the same friend does not, cool (again). i should never expect anything in return because i am just a normal person as well. who do i think i am to believe that i deserve to get something back? i am no king/hero/great human being.

i dont really know why i thought/realized this now. i guess it would have been more convinient to have known this before, then i wouldnt have done all those awesome things to everyone. just kidding!
i think i like being pleasant.